My Soap Box

What do Presidents JFK, Lincoln, Eisenhower, and Roosevelt have in common? They all had ADHD. Being the parent of not one but multiple children with ADHD is a challenge I'm not sure I'll ever, EVER get on top of. Most days I feel exhausted and like a total failure, but the kicker is I'm SURE it's much more difficult for my children than for me. I have come to realize that half of my feelings of failure come from feeling like my children are expected to BE a certain way, and if they're not, they're bad kids...and it's my fault for not teaching them better.

Here are some important things that I feel people so often forget, or fail to see entirely. Number one: ADHD is a real disease with real effects. Yes, a lot of people were over-diagnosed/medicated in the early 80's and 90's. However, medication and diagnosis have changed a LOT in the last 30 years. (As most medical stuff has.) It is also quite a common disease. Just because it was a fad 3 decades ago doesn't mean it isn't real, and that those diagnosed with it are faking it or hypochondriacs.

Number 2: Don't expect kids with ADHD to act like other kids but expect great things from them. Read that line again if this is a new concept to you. I'm sooooo tired of the PRESSURE my kids are under to act like adults at the age of 5. Why do we do this to them? And it seems like the worse the ADHD symptoms, the more maturity is expected of them. They can't HELP that it's easier to concentrate when they're moving, coloring, wiggling, etc. I keep catching myself responding to the world's pressure to have perfect children and then I put it on my kids. NOT. FAIR. or practical.

Number 3: Just because they get an answer in a different way doesn't mean they are wrong. That is something cool about ADHD kids. They think outside the box. They come up with cool ideas no one else does. They can concentrate on more than one thing at a time. When ADHD is managed, a patient can use the disease to his advantage and create some cool stuff! Take Sir Richard Branson for example. He started a fortune 500 company and invented an underwater airplane. WHAT?! You know that's cool. Paul Orfalea, who started Kinko's says of ADHD that it made him "curious". He started his first business when he was 16. David Needleman, who started Jet Blue said, " with the disorder comes creativity and the ability to think outside the box. " He credits the creation of his company with his ADHD.

Number 4: There are many ways to manage it. None are completely wrong/right. There's medication, changing diet, exercise, herbs, foot zoning, essential oils, behavioral studies, the list goes on. I feel so frustrated trying to research these. Each one spends more time tearing down all the others instead of building up ideas. Creating hope. I have decided to do what works best for EACH CHILD. And that is the best I can do.
My kids usually can't sit still for more than 30 seconds. REALLY. And sometimes I can see how bad they feel about their inability to control themselves. It comes out as sudden shyness, anger, crying, crazy off-the-wall laughter. I can barely juggle my own emotions, I feel bad that I can't EMPATHIZE more with what they deal with on a second to second basis. But I can SYMPATHIZE. And so I will. I am signing off. I choose to not sign up with the world's expectation of how my children should act, be, grow up. I'm going to do what's best for them. I only ask you to try to have patience with them too. I'm sure almost every one knows a child with ADHD. I plead: make a special effort to just expect them to be them. I will end this post with a list of more incredible people who have and deal with ADHD.

Walt Disney-you know how many children this man has influenced? Michael Jordan, Prince Charles, Beethoven, Napoleon, Hitchock-famous enough that all we need is his last name, Einstien, Bill Cosby-he made ADHD brilliant and funny, and Jim Carey, Ty Pennington-who doesn't love a little HGTV?, Michael Phelps, Terry Bradshaw, and Pete Rose.
And lastly, the 3 most important on the list:

My little Brother-the funniest person I know, can diffuse the most tense moments with his humor, keeps the family together, is brilliant in school and going to be an eye doctor, has WAY more energy than humanly possible. I'm convinced he's a super hero. The kids think so too.

My Grandpa. Raised 11 kids, brilliant teacher and student, pioneered in the field of genetics, incredible missionary, and the best BOOMPA EVER. Today also happens to be his birthday.

My husband. Best daddy ever, hard worker, multi-talented; he can wire your house, fly a plane, conduct and orchestra or choir (and pick out the bad notes), play any stringed instrument like nobody's business and lots of others like somebody's business, tune your piano, and hold 40 middle schoolers' attention for 90 minutes. On top of his talents he gives the best hugs, and I still get that quivery feeling in my heart every time he comes home.

This post is dedicated to all you incredible, full of potential people who happen to have ADHD.

New Tricks

My last post was supposed to include a video of Natalie which I accidentally left out of the post. She has gotten quite adept at keeping herself awake at night. I do a workout video at night and a few days ago we discovered her in the hallway on her back copying me and the video. She also sings...a lot. Maybe even more than Jane did, which is really saying something! Sadly, the camera ran out of memory during her best solo.

Birthdays, Ballet, and House Pics

Liam's 6th birthday was AWESOME! He had very few requests, which were easy to fulfill. Chocolate cake with chocolate icing and candles that said "Happy Birthday". Check. Presents. Check. Cousins come over for cake and ice cream. Check. He also wanted to go to Pirate Island for dinner but I guess they had a fire so he declared that "BYU Bowling" was what he wanted. I thought it was funny that he specified that it had to be at BYU. Liam is such a smart kid! Doing homeschool with him has taught me that he knows more than I thought he did. He's learning to read VERY quickly, can tell left from right, can almost tie his shoes, sings a lot of songs, can run really fast, is kind and compassionate (when he wants to be), and give the best "I love you mommy" hugs.






The camera is blurry because he's SOOO excited!
NOT Natalie's birthday. He he...
All grown up!
I love this picture of Lige. He knows the good stuff that's coming! Cake!
Kids everywhere! We LOVE IT!
I wore this shirt when I was a kid. It's Natalie's current fave for bedtime.
One pair of pjs for opening presents at the crack of dawn, another for eating cake right before bed. Perfect day!
Master bedroom. To my fellow HGTV fans, yes, I KNOW the marriage certificate on the wall is not the proper scale. Vern would be horrified, but it's not staying there. In fact, it's already been moved.
The room without curtains...

The room with curtains. Now I just have to make a bed sash for the foot of my bed. Blue or Brown? What's your vote?


Never ending back yard...oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh...(Never ending story.....)

"Club house." The kids have used it to play school, rapunzel, spies, everything. It also probably contains half of my dishes. And some stuff from the pantry.

Basketball hoop and box gardens behind. I made homemade spaghetti sauce and fresh salad using the onions, peppers, tomatoes, and carrots. It's also got potatoes, corn, raspeberries, strawberries, peaches, and some other stuff. Does anyone want some jalapenos? I'm not a fan.

Kitchen from the living room. Our table seats 5. We're still looking for a bigger one, until then, card table it is...

Our tiny living room from the kitchen.

Back of house.

Family room office space. The cabinets were built in.



School room/craft room.


Play room. The black stripe is chalkboard paint. I like that the kids had written "dad loves mom" on the wall.

Well, there you have it. The pictures really don't do the house justice. For a real view, you'll have to come visit. To my Idaho family, we make a good pit stop. If I know you're coming, you get cookies....

OH THE THINGS ONE CAN DO

...in a new house.

I'm writing this in the basement where I can look out my walkout basement door and see my kids playing happily and noisily in the huge back yard. Life here has already been hectic, loud, quiet, and wonderful. We feel like we live in a grand hotel and are playing house. Pictures are coming soon, but the kids broke my good camera so it might be a while. In the meantime here are the things we have done since we've been here in Brigham:

1. I became a real parent two days ago. All the potty training, discipline, love, comfort, cooking, and cleaning don't make a real parent. It's when you have to say no to a pet that it all becomes real. It was the most adorable fluffy orange tabby kitten and it followed Ben home. Several times. (Lest you think I have a heart made out of stone, let me inform you that Ben's eyes were nearly swollen shut for hours after his "play date" from allergies.)
2. Soak for hours in our JETTED TUB. I've ALWAYS wanted one. Now I have one. W.O.W.
3. Drag main and hit Kent's, Shopko, the Dollar Store, and Walmart-which by the way is surprisingly clean and quiet. All I need is a Target and I'm set.
4. Watch the kids play outside in a half acre of fenced in bliss, complete with a play set, climbing trees, and vegetable/fruit bearing garden. Which leads us to:
5. Eat fresh veggies that I don't have to plant or water. All I have to do is weed (which I find therapeutic) and hand the kids a bucket to pick them. The kids finished off the peas after only 2 days but we have an abundance of corn, tomatoes, onions, peppers, raspberries, and later pears and apples. The whole garden has a drip system which is on an automatic timer.
6. Spend lots of time running up and down the street to visit cousins and new friends. We also love having cousins come play at our house. It's weird how we don't feel that there are 10 kids in the house sometimes.
7. Send all of the kids to the play room to play. The mess in contained. The kids are happy. We have room.
8. Watch a movie on the big screen tv that's hooked up to the computer. So fun. Jason and I have spent several evenings rediscovering our movies.
9. Plugging our ears as the many trains go behind our property. I'm very grateful for the fence. Liam thinks he needs to be outside to see every single train.
   
10. Waiting for internet/phone service.
11. Enjoying how the whole of main street gets shut down for days for the peach festival.
12. No Traffic.
13. Cooking with my own dishes.
14. A hundred BAZILLION loads of laundry as I try to wash things that have been in storage for over a year and keep up on our current dirty clothes, bedding, and towels.
15. Setting up my OWN SEWING ROOM. I'm using it for homeschooling and crafts as well. It has many uses. Basically, everything I do in there, I love to do!

We feel so blessed to be here. It's wonderful to be on our own and working hard to pay down debts. We plan to enjoy every day we spend here in this home!!

PS Does anyone have a love seat, oversized or wingback chair, or deep freezer chest they want to sell or get rid of?